


Dream

by Talis_Borne



Series: Nimueh’s Spell [2]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Bromance, Canon Divergence, Gen, Magic Reveal, Soul Bond, post series 3
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-30
Updated: 2013-08-30
Packaged: 2017-12-25 03:38:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/948175
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Talis_Borne/pseuds/Talis_Borne
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Arthur’s journey to accepting magic is just beginning, but that beginning opens knowledge within him that he hadn’t known he possessed.  Can Arthur accept what he learns?  And maybe more crucially, can Merlin?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dream

**Author's Note:**

> Nimueh’s Spell uses Merlin series 1-3 as cannon and ignores the events of successive series, though I do pick up Agravaine from series 4.
> 
> I don’t own the rights to the Merlin TV series and I’m not intending to make any money off these stories. This is strictly for sharing between friends.
> 
> Thanks to Res for beta reading and encouragement!

# Dream

Arthur Pendragon opened his eyes and found himself standing in a column of light. A heavy cloak trimmed with ermine fell from his shoulders and he could feel the familiar weight of his own coronet on his head. His chain mail gleamed in the brightness and even his boots gave off a reflective shine. 

A whispering voice chanting in an unknown tongue echoed through the courtyard. The light made the further environs of the grassy atrium hazy, but beyond the fact that he was standing in the courtyard of some sort of cathedral, Arthur had no interest in the place. Around him, arranged in a circle, stood more columns of light and in each column stood a man; it was the men that held his attention. The brightness of the light made their features hazy, and so Arthur stepped out from his column for a better look. Most of the men were knights, that much Arthur was certain of, even without the evidence of their armor. To his left and right he recognized Sirs Lancelot, Percival, Gwaine, Elyan, and Leon. The rest of the faces were shrouded in the light, though he could see evidence of armor, swords and tabards bearing the crest of Camelot. 

Arthur's brow furrowed in concentration as he prowled the interior of the circle, peering closely at each knight but none peered back at him, for each stood asleep in his pillar. He could make out the red hair and beard of one knight, but didn't know his face. 

Finally coming full circle, he returned to the one man whose eyes were open. The clothes he wore marked him as a gentleman at least, though he was not; for the cloth and the workmanship were easily as good as most of Arthur's own wardrobe and about his shoulders he wore a full length heavy woolen cloak lined to a tunic length in light blue silk. This man was neither a knight nor a stranger, his delicate features easily recognizable despite the brightness of the light. 

"Merlin!' demanded Arthur, "What is going on? Where are we?" 

For answer, Merlin did not even look at his master, but only raised one finger to his lips. 

This disturbed Arthur in a way that the quietness of the knights had not. He glanced around at their still closed eyes, then leaned closer to his servant and growled, "I expect cheeky answers from you, Merlin, but I will not allow you to shush me." Merlin made no answer at all, irritating Arthur further. Arthur made to grab Merlin's arm and struck his hand against the solid column of light, in which Merlin stood. Surprisingly this did not hurt, though his hand was thoroughly repelled. "Merlin!" he yelled, "Answer me! I command it!" 

In answer, Merlin pulled the cloak around his body and its hood around his face, effectively hiding him from view. As Arthur continued to make demands for his attention, Merlin knelt, but would make no further response no matter what Arthur said. 

Incensed, Arthur stalked off, again prowling around the interior of the circle. He tried to talk to the knights, he tried again to talk to his servant, but no one would answer him, no one at all. 

Light lanced through his eyes and he opened them in his own bed. 

"It's a beautiful morning," called Merlin cheerily from the window he'd just opened, looking as scruffy as usual. 

"There's got to be a better way to wake up," moaned Arthur, rolling over and pulling a pillow over his face. 

"Come on," coaxed Merlin encouragingly. "You've got arms practice this morning. How does it feel to be back to being just the Prince instead of the Regent?" 

"Worrying," replied Arthur, sitting up. 

"What? You don't think Uther's up to resuming his duties?" 

Arthur growled, "That's none of your business, Merlin." 

"Gaius doesn't think so either." 

"Gaius usually has enough sense to keep his mouth shut and so had you better." 

"I'm just saying you'll have to keep an eye on him." 

Arthur tossed a pillow at Merlin, it being the only thing handy, but it fell short. 

"Are you feeling all right Arthur?" Merlin asked concernedly, stepping nearer. "That didn't come anywhere near me." 

Arthur grabbed another pillow and lobbed it directly into Merlin's face. 

"Ah, yes, much better," returned Merlin sourly, before fetching Arthur's clothes out of the wardrobe and laying them out behind the screen. 

"Actually, I didn't sleep well," said Arthur swinging himself out of his bed. 

"Bad dreams?" 

"An annoying one. You were in it." 

"You're dreaming about me? I'm not sure if that's sweet or disturbing." 

They each grimaced and said in tandem, "Disturbing." 

"It wasn't about you anyway, Merlin. You were just in it and you wouldn't talk to me. And you were dressed oddly." Arthur eyed his servant shrewdly. "No, actually you were dressed well in the dream; you're dressed oddly now. Who makes your clothes?" asked Arthur, retiring behind the screen to dress. 

"My mother. She sent me a new shirt at Easter time," replied Merlin, turning to make the bed. 

"Is that why you always dress like last year's scarecrow?" 

"That's a bit over the line," said Merlin sharply. "You'd clap me in the stocks if I ever made such an insulting comment about your mother." 

"Sorry," said Arthur shortly, emerging from behind the screen. 

Merlin's eyebrows raised to his hairline. "Sorry? That dream really shook you, didn't it?" 

"No it did not," replied Arthur shortly. "But I will agree to make the topic of mothers out of bounds for any but the politest of comments." 

A knock sounded at Arthur's door and Agravaine poked his head in. 

"I'll get your breakfast," said Merlin to Arthur. The look he gave Agravaine as he left was a great deal less than friendly. 

Agravaine swaggered into the room, his vapid smile putting Arthur on his guard. "Sleep well, my Prince?" asked Agravaine. 

"Not really, Uncle," replied Arthur sternly. 

"Something on your mind perhaps?" 

"Only odd dreams," Arthur assured him sourly, taking a seat at the table. 

Agravaine's smile disappeared. "Arthur, I'd like to think that perhaps I was of some help to you in your tenure as Regent." 

"You were, Uncle," Arthur allowed. "I would have had a much harder time without your wise counsel." 

"Then I'm having a hard time understanding this sudden hostility. Have I done something to offend you, Arthur?" 

"I know that you've been put in charge of finding the dragon lord, Uncle. Do you really think that I will break my word and reveal his name?" asked Arthur sharply. "That is what you're here for, isn't it?" 

Agravaine pursed his lips. "I would never ask you to break your word, Arthur." 

"Then what are you here for?" demanded Arthur. 

"I want to know exactly what you promised the dragon lord. Your precise words, if you can remember them." Arthur didn't answer immediately and Agravaine continued, "Surely, you can tell me that much, Arthur? You know that I respect you too much to want you to do anything which would violate your honor." 

Arthur capitulated. "Of course, Uncle." Arthur thought for a moment to recall his exact words. "I promised the dragon lord that my Father would never know his secret unless he told him himself." 

"Ah, then you didn't promise not to reveal his name to someone else, just not to the King?" 

Arthur looked at his uncle sharply. "I'm not going to tell you, Uncle. That promise was what he asked in reward, but by asking him to command the dragon for the benefit of Camelot, I placed him in my service. I can not send him to execution for doing my bidding." 

Agravaine looked down at the table. "You do realize that you just confessed to being in league with a sorcerer?" 

Arthur leaned on the table. "I hadn't even thought of a dragon lord as being a sorcerer." 

Agravaine smiled condescendingly. "That was obvious from the look on your face when your father said it. Really, Arthur, I do wish that you had consulted me on this matter." 

"I had reason to want to keep the matter private." 

"Can you tell me that reason?" 

"No." 

Merlin entered the room, a plate in one hand and a pitcher in the other. 

Agravaine straightened up. "Your father has decided not to prosecute you for dealing with this sorcerer on the grounds that you were Regent at the time and had the authority to set aside the law. But any further dealings with this man will no doubt get you into a great deal of trouble." 

Merlin set the plate in front of Arthur and poured out a cup of juice. 

"I understand, Uncle," said Arthur, staring into Agravaine's eyes. 

Agravaine bowed and left Arthur to his breakfast. Arthur tucked in to the sausages. As he finished the first bite he asked, "So a dragon lord just has influence over dragons and wyverns, right?" 

Quietly, Merlin replied, "Balinor used his power to heal you, but that might have only been possible because the wound was inflicted by a dragon. I'm not sure." 

Arthur took his next bite as though devouring his frustrations. "Still cautious, are you?" 

"That's why I'm still alive, Arthur," murmured Merlin. 

**********************

Agravaine arrived at Morgana's cottage shortly after sunset. The squat, single room, wattle and daub building was a far cry from the palace. He knocked, but getting no answer, he entered cautiously. "My Lady?" he called into darkness alleviated only by the fire smoking in the hearth. 

"Please tell me you have something to report other than how much you're helping my brother," said Morgana from behind him. 

Agravaine gasped and turned to face her. "You startled me." 

"You're careless," she said stepping past him. 

"I'm tired. I feel like a bat. I was up much of the night last night and only had a nap this afternoon." 

"And why is that, my Lord?" asked Morgana, seating herself by the fire and tucking the folds of her skirt behind her legs. 

"Uther retook his throne yesterday." 

"I thought Uther was still sleeping much of the day?" 

"He is." Agravaine seated himself opposite Morgana with a smile. "He got angry with Arthur." 

"What did Arthur do, disagree with him over the way to hold a sword? It wouldn't take any more than that," said Morgana sourly. 

Agravaine grinned broadly. "Arthur consorted with a dragon lord." 

"My brother used magic?" asked Morgana, clearly startled. 

Agravaine nodded. "Apparently, though he somehow he didn't realize that a dragon lord used magic. Uther would have forgiven him that, but Arthur refused to turn the dragon lord over for execution." 

"Well, my Lord," purred Morgana, "We should find this dragon lord and convince him that he's better off with his own kind." 

"My thoughts exactly, which is why I was up last night watching Arthur's door. I was certain from his behavior that he'd go to the dragon lord, warn him to leave, but he did nothing of the kind. He went straight to his room and apparently to bed early. I waited until nearly morning, believing that he'd rise in the night. I even risked entering his room to see if he were still there. Fortunately, Arthur is a very heavy sleeper." 

"In that case, you should have slipped a blade between his ribs," said Morgana spitefully. 

Agravaine looked offended. "If I'd gotten that close, I'm sure he would have awakened and raised an alarm. I'd never get away with it, my Lady." 

"A little more daring on your part might bring us closer to our goals." 

"Indeed, or it might end with the loss of both our heads." Agravaine took on the paternal tone that Morgana hated. "Patience, my Lady, is a virtue you will need to practice if you intend to retake your father's throne." 

Morgana smiled at him and took his hand, wishing that her sister had not died in the last conflict with Arthur and could have been sitting in Agravaine's place. 

**********************

Three mornings later, Arthur sent Merlin to muck out the stables, mostly to keep him out of the way, and sought out Gaius in his quarters. Gaius looked up from the mortar and pestle in his hand in surprise to see Arthur come through his door. "If you're after Merlin, he's not here." 

"I know. I actually came to see you, Gaius." Arthur looked down and back up nervously as he advanced into the room. 

Gaius set down his work and wiped his hands on a towel, coming around his workbench to stand before Arthur. "How may I be of service, my lord?" 

Arthur compressed his lips as though he'd eaten something sour. "If you could explain to me the meaning of this dream I've been having?" 

"You've been having nightmares?" 

"No, it's not a nightmare," said Arthur slowly. "It's just a dream, but it's shown up the last three nights. It doesn't make any sense and it feels as though it should." 

"I heal bodies, Arthur. I'm not sure I can help you with a dream." 

"There's no one else to ask, Gaius." 

"Very well, sit down and describe it to me," Gaius said, indicating a bench at the dining table. 

Arthur took the offered seat, mostly so the older man could sit. He folded his hands on the rough wood and leaned forward as Gaius took the seat opposite. His words tumbled out, like jacks scattered on the floor. "In the dream, I'm standing in a column of light and there are men standing in a circle around me and each of them is standing in his own column of light. Twenty of the men are knights and they're all asleep. Some of them I recognize, but most I can't see very well." Arthur winced, "Then there's Merlin." 

"Merlin?" asked Gaius looking concerned. 

"Yes, he's also in the circle. But he's awake, he's dressed like a lord, he won't talk to me and if he hides from me in that cloak one more time, I'm going to knock him cross the room when he wakes me up in the morning." 

Gaius looked down and then away. "I am sorry, Sire. I can not help you." 

"What is it, Gaius? You recognized something in what I just said." 

"I can not help you, Arthur. I am sorry," repeated Gaius, rising and turning away. 

Arthur rose as well. "Gaius, what is wrong?" When Gaius didn't answer, he continued, "Look at me, I command you." 

Gaius turned to face Arthur, holding his back straight with tension. "Arthur you should leave this alone. But whether you will or not, I can not help you in this matter." 

Arthur paused to think a moment, then said evenly, "You know I can have you in the stocks if you refuse me your help." 

Quietly, Gaius replied, "In the stocks or in the dungeon, I can not help you, Arthur. You know I would if I could." 

Arthur walked away in shock at such an answer. 

****************

Merlin had the sheets off of Arthur's bed and was in the process of making it up again when Arthur walked in from an afternoon training session. It annoyed Arthur to see work half done, but then Merlin was annoying him more than ever in the past few days and Arthur couldn't even blame his servant since it was a in a dream that the greatest offence was occurring. Merlin immediately left his work to help Arthur off with his armor. 

"Go well?" asked Merlin cheerily. 

"Yes," Arthur replied sourly. 

"Doesn't sound like it," said Merlin, taking hold of Arthur's vambrace to unfasten it, but sliding the edge into the back of Arthur's hand. 

Arthur jerked his arm away. "You really are useless, aren't you, Merlin?" 

"If you say so, my Lord," said Merlin testily, taking Arthur's hand and tucking it under his arm so that Merlin could undo the fastenings of the vambrace without Arthur jerking away from him. 

Arthur looked into his face as he worked and tried to remember that it wasn't actually Merlin he was annoyed at. Arthur tried to relax as Merlin unfastened the shoulder plates. A hard afternoon's practice session hadn't eased the irritations of the morning. He was still seething over Gaius' refusal. He could punish the old man, but he wasn't sure that he wanted to. Arthur trusted Gaius' advice; surely the physician wouldn't refuse without reason, and yet, Arthur needed to know what the dream was about. 

"Arthur," said Merlin, calling his attention. He'd taken hold of the shoulders of Arthur's chain mail and Arthur bent to let him slide it over his head. As soon as he had it off, Arthur retired behind the dressing screen and was thankful that Merlin had laid out both a fresh set of clothes and a towel to get the sweat off. Arthur stripped at once and started toweling himself dry. 

Arthur frowned. Merlin and Gaius were both annoying him today but something else nagged at him about the two men. The thought fluttered just out of reach. "Merlin," called Arthur, "why do you live with Gaius?" 

"That's an odd question," answered Merlin suspiciously. 

"I'd just never thought about it before," said Arthur, finishing his toweling and reaching for his underwear. He couldn't see Merlin, but if he was annoying his servant, so much the better. "I mean, you just showed up one day all settled in." 

"My mother sent me to Camelot," Merlin said matter-of-factly. 

"To Gaius?" asked Arthur, pulling on his britches. 

"Yeah." 

"How does your mother know Gaius?" asked Arthur, tiring quickly of trying to pull answers out of his normally gregarious servant. 

"Oh!" exclaimed Merlin, finally thinking he understood what Arthur was asking. "He's her brother, well, half brother actually." 

"So Gaius is your uncle," said Arthur, his mind still questing after the errant thought. "You don't call him 'Uncle'." 

"We'd never met before I came to Camelot. It didn't seem right to call a stranger 'Uncle' and he's never asked me to." 

"Your mother doesn't seem old enough to be Gaius' sister," said Arthur, pulling his tunic over his head. 

"Half sister," Merlin corrected. "My grandfather remarried about the same time that Gaius left home. There's more than twenty years between them." 

Arthur buckled on his belt and stepped out from behind the screen carrying his boots. He pulled out a chair and sat down to put them on. Merlin had gone back to making up the bed and his back was to Arthur. The question that next slipped from Arthur's lips startled him almost as much as it did Merlin. "Was your grandfather a sorcerer?" 

"What?" asked Merlin breathlessly, nearly jumping in his haste to turn wide eyes on Arthur. 

Arthur bent to slip his feet into his boots and hide his burning cheeks. The errant thought felt closer, but still out of reach. "I know Gaius was a sorcerer, years ago, I was wondering if his father had been." 

"I don't know," Merlin suddenly started babbling. "He died while my mother was still a child. Her sister took her in. My aunt and uncle are farmers. My mother's a farmer. One of my cousins went to Mercia. I think he's a tanner." 

"I don't really care," interrupted Arthur, looking up at his servant annoyed that Merlin's babbling had pushed the thought away again. They stared at each other a moment before Merlin turned back to his chores. Arthur continued to watch his servant while trying to track down the thought that eluded him. 

Merlin's mother had sent him to Gaius and… Merlin's father had been a dragon lord. Arthur was still pretty hazy on exactly what a dragon lord's powers might be, other than actually controlling a dragon, or a wyvern, but Gaius probably knew. Had Hunith sent her son to Gaius to learn what he might need to know someday when he inherited his father's powers? Merlin had said there'd been no one to teach him, but he could control the dragon. Someone must have taught him something even if he hadn't realized it. Gaius seemed the most likely candidate. 

Merlin put the last pillow into place and picked up the laundry basket with the dirty sheets. Turning, he caught Arthur watching him. "Why are you looking at me like that, Arthur?" 

"I was just wondering," said Arthur slowly. "Gaius has almost as many books as the palace library. Do you ever read them?" 

"When I get time," replied Merlin, baffled. "You and Gaius keep me pretty busy." 

Arthur briefly bit at his lip. "Does Gaius have any books on dreams?" 

"I don't know. Probably." 

"I was wondering if you might help me with something." 

"Anything, Arthur," quipped Merlin. "I am in your service." 

************************

When Gaius returned from visiting his patients in the lower town, he found Merlin searching through his library. "Shouldn't you be working for Arthur this time of day?" 

"I am," replied Merlin, thumbing through a book and then putting it back and going on to more volumes. 

Gaius set his medicine bag on the table next to a pile of books that Merlin had obviously placed there. Gaius felt a coldness settle over him as he read through the titles. "This wouldn't be about that dream that Arthur came to me about this morning, would it?" 

"I suppose so," said Merlin walking towards him with another book in his hand. 

Gaius took the book from Merlin. Looking down at it, he said, "I'm sorry, Merlin, you can not use my library for this purpose." 

"What? Why not?" asked Merlin, obviously confused. 

Gaius began to carry his books back to the shelves. "When I told Arthur I couldn't help him with this matter, I meant it. You'd be better off convincing him to drop it." 

Merlin shook his head. "Arthur never listens to me." 

"Then make him listen," said Gaius sharply. "Obviously he trusts you enough to come to you about this. Convince him." 

Merlin set his jaw. "Arthur's pretty set on finding out what this dream is about. If I don't help him, he'll just go looking for someone else. If it's really that bad, isn't it better to keep it with people we can trust?" Gaius looked at him with such a distraught expression that Merlin went to him and laid a hand on his arm. "What is it?" 

"I can not help you with this, Merlin, not in any way. My first loyalty is to Uther, as yours is to Arthur. Usually, those loyalties are not in conflict, but this time is different." 

"My first loyalty is to you," said Merlin quietly. 

Gaius patted his hand. "That's nice of you to say, Merlin, but it can not be for more reasons than you realize. Do what you must for Arthur, but be careful." 

**********************

Returning from dinner with his Father, Arthur saw Guinevere coming toward him down the corridor. The corridor being rather public, Arthur nodded to her and hoped to see her smile in return. Her mouth set in a line and she made to pass him at a quick pace. 

Surprised at her coldness, he called her back. "Have I done something to offend you?" 

Crossing her arms over her chest, Gwen informed him, "I've just come from dinner with my brother." 

It took Arthur a moment to recall why this might upset her. The knights had gone on to find the source of the wyvern attacks and Elyan had drawn a long patrol immediately after returning. He'd had no time to broach Arthur's suggestion with Gwen… until now, apparently. 

Arthur took a step closer to Guinevere. "I take it that Elyan offered to introduce you in the court as a Lady." 

Gwen took a deep breath but kept her voice low. "I am not a Lady, Arthur Pendragon. I'm sorry if that's a problem to you, but I am not and I am certainly not going to let my brother get in a fight to try to prove that I'm something that I was never born to be." 

"Guinevere," said Arthur, trying for reasonableness, "knights get into fights all the time. It's what we train for." 

"Elyan didn't train as a knight, he trained as a blacksmith. Yes, he can use a sword and I'm proud that you would want him with you in battle, but he's only trained as a knight for a few months. Most of the Knights of Camelot have trained to be knights all of their lives and a lot of them think that… that those you knighted only obtained their knighthood because of your desperation. There are several who'd be glad enough of an excuse to be rid of one of them." 

"Which knights?" demanded Arthur. "Elyan and the others proved themselves in battle. They share the same duties as the others. Lancelot and Gwaine have even shown themselves to be the better of most of the knights at swordplay. Who thinks they're not good enough?" 

"It's not my place to say, my Lord. Uther demanded for all of his reign that Knights of Camelot come only from the first families. The knights you have now grew up believing that that is the way it should be. Some can change and accept, but some can not. And I am not going to give some stiff necked knight an excuse to kill my brother." Gwen dropped a quick curtsey, whirled, and walked away, leaving Arthur stunned. 

Could Guinevere be right? No one had complained to him, but then why would they? Any knight could bestow a knighthood. Arthur had become Regent just then and certainly had the right to add any he chose to the elite Knights of Camelot. No knight would have had a reason to complain, but resentment could fester without an outlet. 

He entered his chambers, his mind full of new concerns, to find Merlin sitting on the wolfskin in front of the fire with a book in his lap and two more by his knee. "Shouldn't you be working?" he snapped. 

"I am," said Merlin without looking up. "You asked a question, I'm looking for the answer." 

"Then shouldn't you be doing that in your own room?" asked Arthur caustically, wanting his privacy. 

"I would if I weren't afraid that Gaius would decide to chuck me out of it. He's already banned me from using his library." 

"What did you do, spill something on one of his books?" 

Merlin looked up innocently. "No, I'm welcome to borrow books on anatomy, herbs, or ailments, just not dreams." 

Fury passed across Arthur's face one set of problems struggling to displace another in his mind. "So where did you get the books?" 

"From the castle library. Don't tell Gaius or he'll likely talk Geoffrey into banning me from that as well. Not that that would be much of a challenge. Geoffrey only puts up with me being down there because half the time Gaius sends me." 

"Now I'm sending you, so Geoffrey can't ban you." 

"They can if they get Uther involved and Gaius might." 

Arthur made a face. "Why would Father object?" 

"Dream interpretation might be a little too close to magic for the King, don't you think?" 

"I suppose it might." Looking concerned, Arthur asked, "You don't really think Gaius would go to Father over this, do you?" 

"Something about this has Gaius spooked. He really wants you to drop it." 

"I might if it would leave me alone, but it's coming every night. I can leave the dream once it starts, but it's like I'm being pulled in. I need to know why." Arthur dropped into a chair. "How long will it take you to read all of that?" 

"If I can get some quiet? A few days." 

Arthur peered at the book in Merlin's lap. "That one's not even in English." 

Merlin gave Arthur a look of annoyance. "Good eye." 

"How many languages do you read?" 

"Several, but this isn't one of my better ones." 

"Finding anything useful?" 

Merlin closed the book with a snap. Irritation colored his voice, "So far a lot of symbology that doesn't really seem to apply." 

"Well all right, don't get annoyed with me," said Arthur, crankily. 

"As usual, Arthur, you don't understand how much work it takes to get a job done." 

"Isn't there someone else you could ask?" 

Merlin thought for a moment. "One person, but I'd rather not, he kind of scares me." 

"Not a sorcerer?" asked Arthur disapprovingly. 

"He used to be," replied Merlin, "and he specialized in dreams." 

"Great," said Arthur, seeing a quick resolution to this set of problems at least. "You could ask him tomorrow." 

"I'd really rather try on my own first," said Merlin in trepidation. 

"Because he kind of scares you?" Arthur teased. 

"Let me amend that. He really scares me. A lot." 

"Don't be such a girl, Merlin. I'll send you with enough gold to make him happy. How much do you think you'll need?" 

With trepidation, Merlin replied, "I have a feeling I know his price, and it won't be gold." 

"What will he want then?" 

"He'll want to teach me something." 

"Boring for you then." Arthur frowned suspiciously. "This is a _former_ sorcerer we're talking about, correct? Someone who'd relented and been pardoned?" 

"Definitely former, Arthur," said Merlin, tilting his eyes in exasperation, but avoiding Arthur's gaze. "Gaius' lessons are sometimes boring, Taliesen's are terrifying. I've only had one and I'd rather not have another." 

"Might not be so bad." 

Trying to get out of it, Merlin said, "You'd have to give me the whole day. He isn't in city. 

"How far away are we talking?" 

"The Valley of the Fallen Kings." 

"Merlin, no one lives there." 

"That's where I have to go," insisted Merlin. 

Arthur pursed his lips. "We cleaned the bandits out of there last year, but it doesn't mean that more haven't taken up residence. I can't go with you, I have a knighting ceremony to attend. Take one of the knights with you. I want you back in one piece." 

"Then you wouldn't send me," muttered Merlin, too low for Arthur to hear. 

******************

Leaning back against a moss covered rock face, Lancelot pensively stared up at the guardian statues at the entrance to the Valley of the Fallen Kings. 

"I'm sure he's fine," assured Percival, throwing another stick on the fire he sat beside. "If Merlin didn't think he could handle whatever's in there, he'd have taken us with him, wouldn't he?" 

Lancelot shook his head. "Not if it's magic. We're only here to protect him from bandits." 

"How long do we wait before we go looking for him?" 

"I wish I knew." 

A sudden rustling down the path that Merlin had followed over an hour before brought both knights instantly to their feet. Merlin stumbled out of the forest, his face stained with tear tracks. Lancelot ran to him, wrapping one arm around Merlin's waist and dragging the slighter man's arm over his shoulder. Merlin sagged into the support, quaking. Lancelot quickly got Merlin sat down by the fire. "Your hand is like ice. What happened?" he demanded. 

"Nothing," shivered Merlin. "I'm fine." 

Lancelot snorted and stripped the cloak from his back, wrapping it around Merlin's shoulders and roughly beginning to rub Merlin's back and shoulders. "Percival, there's a packet of biscuits in my saddlebags. They're jam filled, the sweet might help." 

Percival hurried to get them, and also dish up the last of the rabbit that the knights had hunted and cooked earlier. He handed the plate to Merlin, but Merlin made no move to take it. 

"I'm fine," repeated Merlin a little more strongly. "We should get back to Camelot." 

"As if I'd trust you on a horse in your condition," said Lancelot. "You eat that or I'll feed it to you." 

Merlin grumbled, but took what was offered and started to eat. 

Percival couldn't help staring. Merlin was normally pale and he cried more easily than any man (and most women) Percival had ever known, but this was going some, even for Merlin. His eyes were bloodshot as though he'd spent the hour apart from them bawling. Percival offered him his water skin, certain that Merlin must be parched. "You look like you've seen a ghost," Percival said, trying to make a joke, but it seemed too close to the truth. 

"I did," said Merlin, after taking a long pull at the water. "That's why I came." 

Percival felt the blood drain from his own face. "There's a ghost in there? For real?" 

Merlin nodded. "Don't worry, he won't bother you. He's actually pretty nice." 

"Then why do you look like you just came back from the gates of Hell?" asked Lancelot. 

Merlin shivered. "Taliesan thinks I should be a seer. This is the third time I've looked into the future." Merlin suddenly shook so hard that Percival grabbed his plate to keep it from spilling. 

"Is the future that terrifying then?" asked Percival in a whisper. 

"It is," confirmed Merlin, "and the last two times, I ended up making some of the more terrifying bits come true." Merlin smiled weakly. "I actually saw a couple of good things this time though." 

"Is that what Arthur sent you for, to look into the future?" asked Lancelot, worriedly. 

Merlin shook his head. "No, he doesn't know I can. He sent me for the answer to a question. Another lesson in prophecy was Taliesan's price for his help." 

"Did you get what Arthur wanted?" asked Lancelot. 

Merlin nodded. "I think so, though it's so simple that Arthur probably won't think it was worth me being gone a day." He smiled fondly. "His room's probably a mess by now." 

"Well, you'll have to clean it tomorrow," said Lancelot firmly. "As it is we won't make it back until well after dark. 

"Since when does it being dark have anything to do with whether or not I'm cleaning?" 

Lancelot shook his head in disbelief. "With your abilities, you'd think you could do something a little more…" 

"Interesting? Important? Demanding?" suggested Merlin, a little of his usual merriment returning to his face. "What fits that description better than trying to keep Arthur from getting killed on a weekly basis? Besides, do you know how many servants Arthur went through before me? He has absolutely no idea how much he asks or how I manage to get it all done." 

"You use magic to do chores?" asked Percival, aghast. Merlin shrugged. Percival said, "I can't figure out whether you're brilliant or terrifying." 

"Both," said Lancelot, "but he's on our side." Addressing Merlin, he asked, "Do you think you can sit a horse? I want to reach decent roads before night falls." 

"I told you, I'm fine." 

"Arthur might believe it, if he were here, but I can still see you shaking," Lancelot said, helping Merlin to his feet and reclaiming his cloak. 

Percival kicked out the fire, while Lancelot got Merlin mounted up. 

It was well past dark by the time they clattered into the castle's courtyard but most of the windows glowed with candlelight. Merlin stumbled when he dismounted and Lancelot caught him by the arm. "I have to take care of the horses," said Merlin. 

"Percival can take care of the horses or find a servant to do it," said Lancelot, decisively. "The only place you are going is straight to your bed." 

Percival raised an eyebrow at this, but nodded agreement. 

"I have to go to Arthur," Merlin protested weakly. 

"I will go to Arthur," said Lancelot dragging Merlin out of the stables. When Merlin stumbled again, Lancelot again caught him around the waist and dragged his arm across his shoulder. Frowning, he said, "I'll tell Arthur where you are and if he wants the information you got for him tonight, he can come to you. Otherwise, you'll make yourself ill trying to take care of him instead of yourself." 

Lancelot half carried Merlin up the several sets of stairs to Gaius' quarters, despite Merlin's efforts to keep his feet under him. 

"Good Heavens!" exclaimed Gaius, as Lancelot dragged Merlin past him without slowing down. 

"I'm fine," Merlin called to his guardian. 

"Liar," said Lancelot. He tossed Merlin down on his bed and commanded, "Stay." Then Lancelot headed back out. 

Merlin reached down and began unbuckling his boots. 

Gaius crept up the stairs and laid his hand on the door. "What was that all about?" 

"It's nothing Gaius. I'm only tired, I'm not hurt." 

"So tired you can barely walk?" asked Gaius coming all the way into the room. 

Merlin straightened up. "We needed to come straight home. I just haven't had a chance to rest yet." 

"And what were you doing that exhausted you so?" Gaius inquired sharply. 

Merlin blew out an exasperated breath. "If you must know, I went to see Taliesin." 

"This is about that dream, isn't it?" demanded Gaius. 

"You've made it quite clear that we have different priorities on that issue." 

"I told you to drop it." 

"Well I can't drop it because Arthur isn't going to drop it." 

At that moment the door to the lower room opened and Arthur himself stepped in, accompanied by Lancelot. 

"I'll get your dinner," grumbled Gaius, turning to do just that. Gaius reached the bottom of the short staircase and bowed to Arthur, who greeted him shortly on his way up. 

"Lancelot seems to think I work you too hard," said Arthur as he entered his servant's room. 

"Lancelot is being an old nanny goat," replied Merlin without rising and giving Lancelot a sharp look over Arthur's shoulder. 

Turning Arthur asked, "Give us a moment, will you?" Lancelot retreated and Arthur closed the door behind him. Arthur leaned back against the door. "Did you get it?" 

"Sort of, Arthur," said Merlin turning towards him and hitching one knee onto his bed, "but you're going to think I'm insane." 

Arthur's eyes narrowed. "What did he say?" 

"He said you should call my name three times in the dream. That will wake me inside it and then I can help you figure it out." 

"Merlin, I've been screaming your name in the dream. You just hide from me." 

"Well, then you're doing it wrong," said Merlin in an exasperated voice. "You have to invite me into the dream, not order me in." 

Arthur threw up his hands in frustration and furrowed his brow. "How can this help? The you in my dream is still a figment of my imagination. It won't know any more about it than I do." 

"It's a magic dream, Arthur. You really can call me into it. Provided," he added, "that I'm asleep at the time." 

Arthur shook his head in disgusted denial. "I can't do magic." 

"You won't be doing magic. It's a magic dream, you'll just be controlling the dream." 

"If it's a magic dream then some sorcerer must have cast it on me." 

Merlin's head rocked side to side while he considered. "Yeah, probably." 

"Perhaps even this 'former' sorcerer you went to see?" Arthur growled. 

"No, I'm sure not." 

"How can you be sure?" 

"Because I am," Merlin said sharply. Modifying his tone to a wheedle, he encouraged, "Just try it, Arthur. Can it really hurt anything?" 

Arthur crossed his arms over his chest, pouting. "I'm not exactly sure I want you in my head." 

"It's up to you, Arthur. If you don't want to try it, I can go back to reading and see if I can find you another answer." 

"I suppose I could try it. I take it you're going to make yourself useless and go to sleep?" 

Merlin nodded and took his boots off. "If you're going to have me working all night in a dream, I need to get some sleep." 

******************

Arthur had trouble falling asleep and restlessness seemed to follow him into the dream. He opened his eyes to find himself staring across the empty space directly into Merlin's eyes. Somehow this unnerved him and he made several circuits of the interior of the circle to calm his own nerves. Finally, he stood in front of Merlin, with his arms folded, and roughly called his name three times. Merlin put up his hood and wrapped his cloak around himself. 

"Not again," groaned Arthur. 

Taking a deep breath, Arthur stepped forward and laid his hands at shoulder height on the column of light in which Merlin stood. Arthur forced himself to smile and very sweetly called, "Merlin, Merlin, Merlin?" 

Slowly, Merlin's hands raised to his hood and pulled it back. He blinked as though he'd just wakened. "Arthur?" 

"Thank God," said Arthur dropping his hands back to his sides. "Maybe now I can get some answers." 

Merlin looked him up and down. "What party are you going to?" he asked impishly. 

"I could ask you the same," Arthur replied irritably. 

Merlin looked down at his own clothes, which were nicer than anything he had in his cupboard, then shrugged. "It's your dream." 

"Can you come out?" 

"What?" 

Arthur reached up and knocked on the solid column of light right in front of Merlin's face. "I can come out of mine," he said pointing to the center column, "but all the others are solid." 

Merlin stepped forward tentatively, but had no problem walking out of the pillar. He tried walking through the center column but bounced off. "Apparently, they're assigned." 

"What is this place?" 

Merlin looked beyond the pillars. "The Isle of the Blessed." 

"How would you know?" 

Merlin hesitated, "I've seen drawings, in some of Gaius' books. The altar is missing. It should be right where your column is." 

"Oh. Recognize anything else?" 

Merlin looked around. "Some of the knights. Who's this fellow?" he asked, pointing at the red-headed knight. 

"I don't know," Arthur said slowly. "He's a little clearer than the others I don't recognize, but I still don't know him." 

Merlin's chin suddenly snapped up. "What's that?" 

"What?" 

"Hush," said Merlin, listening. 

Angrily Arthur stepped toward him. "Merlin, you don't…" 

Merlin snapped up a finger, warning Arthur again to be quiet. 

Arthur stopped, listening himself. "What that? That voice is always there. It's just spouting nonsense." 

"No it's not," said Merlin quietly. 

"You understand that?" Arthur asked quietly. 

Merlin nodded, his eyes shifting with tension. 

Arthur stood silently watching him. 

Merlin's expression suddenly shifted from tense to furious. "That bloody bastard!" he screamed and disappeared. 

At the same moment a wind seemed to pummel the walls. Arthur felt a wrench within himself as though he would be violently ill. "Merlin!" he called. Though the gale didn't penetrate the circle, it howled and tore around the outside as though a thing alive and in pain. Arthur pivoted into his own column of light and found it afforded him some relief from the wails of the tempest. On the faces of the knights he could see lines of stress as if each had become lost in a nightmare from which they could not awaken. 

Arthur considered trying to call Merlin back, but decided that they'd done enough damage for one night. "Better to let him get his sleep and get my own," thought Arthur. Taking a deep breath and forcing his muscles to relax, Arthur left the dream. 

********************

Arthur blinked sleep from eyes that felt as dry as sand. Every muscle in his body ached as though he'd spent the night fighting a melee and then force marched to a battle. He lifted his head from his pillow, only to drop it back again. A glimmer of light lanced between the unopened curtains. "Merlin?" called Arthur, expecting his servant to be within the sound of his voice. When no one answered, Arthur rolled to the edge of his bed and onto his feet. Standing felt a little better. Dragging open the curtain, Arthur found that it was still early morning, though later than Merlin usually awakened him. Arthur stretched and decided that his servant must have overslept. Annoyed, Arthur crossed to the wardrobe and selected the first decent shirt and britches that came to his hand. Once he was decently attired, he headed for Gaius' chambers to reeve Merlin out of bed. 

Gaius was just coming out of Merlin's room as Arthur entered and at the sight of him, the old man's mouth tightened in fury. "What the devil did you two try last night?" he demanded. 

Arthur, accustomed to deference from the physician, was temporarily at a loss to answer. "Is Merlin still in bed then?" he finally asked, ignoring Gaius' impertinence. 

"Come and see," rumbled Gaius, looking daggers at Arthur. 

Arthur took the stairs quickly, if not quite as nimbly as usual, and passed Gaius without taking his eyes from the older man's face, until he heard the gasping breaths. Turning, Arthur found Merlin flopping in his bed like a fish that had just been landed, struggling for breath, and pale as a snow bank. "Merlin," he said, concern saturating his tone. Arthur took the seat that had been pulled up next to Merlin's bed and stroked his forehead, expecting to find it hot. To his surprise, Merlin's skin was cold to the touch, though the thin sheen of perspiration on his face indicated it should be otherwise. "What happened to him?" he asked Gaius. 

"That's what I need you to tell me," Gaius replied sternly. 

Arthur didn't answer him. Instead he laid a hand on Merlin's shoulder to hold him down and leaned close to his ear. Quietly, Arthur called Merlin's name three times. 

"Arthur?" gasped Merlin, but he didn't open his eyes and his body continued to spasm. 

"I'm here," soothed Arthur. "Can you come out?" 

"S-s-sorry, Arthur," trembled Merlin. "So sorry." 

Arthur looked back at Gaius, who growled "That's more than I've been able to get out of him." 

Determination settled around Arthur's mouth. "Get me something to make me sleep, then tell my Father that you've sent me back to bed with whatever Merlin's got and I'm not to be disturbed." 

Gaius snapped, "And how do you think that will help?" 

Arthur rose abruptly. "Those weren't suggestions, Gaius. You've made it very clear that you aren't willing to help, so we'll bumble through without you." 

Arthur made to stride past Gaius, but the older man blocked his path, looking somewhat contrite. "I will do whatever I can to protect you both. I always have." 

"Thank you, Gaius," said Arthur, remembering the affection that Gaius had shown for his ward and understanding his ire. Determinedly, he added, "Get me what I asked for and take care of him. I'm going to fix this." 

**********************

Arthur woke in his pillar of light feeling groggy. "Must be the sleeping draught," he thought. The tortured wail of wind still howled around the edge of the circle, but the sound had ebbed slightly, as though becoming exhausted. Merlin's pillar remained empty and three of the knights Arthur couldn't recognize had sunk to their knees. 

Worried, Arthur crossed to the empty pillar and placed his hands on it as he had before. He rested his forehead on it as well and called Merlin's name softly three times. Abruptly, the howl of the wind shut off as Merlin suddenly appeared in the column and fell to the floor in a heap. Arthur called his name again and again but Merlin lay unmoving. Finally, Arthur noticed that the tips of two of Merlin's fingers lay outside of the circle of light. Kneeling down Arthur caught hold of those fingers and drew out Merlin's arm, catching hold of his wrist, then his elbow and finally his shoulder. Dragging the lighter man completely out of the column of light, Arthur wondered briefly if Merlin was even alive as he settled his head on his chest. He tilted Merlin's head back to get a better look at his face and could feel a light breath on his hand. Dark circles shadowed Merlin's closed eyes, emphasizing his pallor. Arthur pulled the cloak around him and even pulled up the hood to try to warm him. Not knowing anything else to do within the confines of the dream, Arthur waited, hoping that Merlin would wake. 

It was quite some time before he did. Only the smallest movement of Merlin's head disturbed his vigil, but when he felt it, Arthur felt a surge of hope. He began rubbing Merlin's back and encouraging him to wake up. 

"Arthur?" groaned Merlin and he lifted himself into a sitting position, but immediately sagged and raised his hand to hold up his head. 

Arthur kept his hands on Merlin's shoulders to support him. "Easy." 

"I'm so sorry, Arthur," Merlin muttered contritely. 

"Why? I should be apologizing to you. I should have known you were in trouble when you disappeared. I shouldn't have left." 

Merlin laughed weakly. "And how would you have known that? I shouldn't have fought it. I didn't mean to, it was instinct. I won't do it again." 

Arthur wondered if his servant was a little hysterical, he certainly wasn't making much sense. Softly he asked, "What did you fight?" Merlin's head drooped and Arthur gave him a small shake, hoping to keep him from fainting. He repeated his question just to give Merlin something to focus on. 

Merlin shook his head sadly. "The spell, Arthur, this isn't a dream it's a spell." 

Arthur dropped his hands away from Merlin in alarm. "A spell?" 

"It's very complex. The chanting you're hearing is the spell itself, being repeated." 

Arthur ducked his head, trying to see Merlin's eyes. "What's it doing to us? What's it for?" 

Merlin raised his face. "It's all right, Arthur. I shouldn't have fought it. It's a binding spell." 

"Binding spell?" 

"Like a loyalty oath. It binds me, well us," said Merlin indicating the rest of the circle with a wave of his hand, "to you." 

Shocked, Arthur looked around the circle. "But, the knights are all pledged to protect Camelot. Why would someone bind them to me?" 

"The spell doesn't say specifically why," answered Merlin evasively. 

"This doesn't make any sense, who would cast such a spell?" 

"It's Nimueh's voice." 

Arthur snapped, "That makes even less sense." 

Merlin shrugged. "I can only tell you what I hear." 

Arthur regarded his servant shrewdly. "When you disappeared, you yelled out, 'that bloody bastard.' You weren't referring to Nimueh, were you?" 

Merlin's eyes widened in alarm, "Don't ask me that, Arthur, not here. You would be so angry, angrier than I was. It could do so much damage." 

Arthur frowned, tamping down his curiosity. This dream, or spell, obviously could effect things in the real world enough to make Merlin very sick. Damage could mean death and it wasn't worth risking the lives of people Arthur cared about to get an answer now. He reached out and laid a reassuring hand on Merlin's arm. "Are you all right?" 

"Yes, Arthur, I'm fine," Merlin assured him, though his whole body drooped and he seemed to be having trouble holding up his head. 

Uncertainly, Arthur asked, "Do you want to leave my service?" 

Shocked, Merlin answered, "What? No. I told you, I only fought the spell out of instinct. And then I got tangled in it and I couldn't get back until you called me. But I'm fine with it now, really. I won't try to fight it again. I promise." 

"If you want your freedom…" 

"I don't." said Merlin firmly. 

Arthur searched Merlin's face for any hesitation. Satisfied that his servant chose his lot, instead of being coerced, Arthur said, "You'd better get some real sleep then. Gaius is worried half sick." 

"Gaius?" asked Merlin, a flicker of anger flashing so briefly across his face that Arthur thought he must have imagined it. 

"You were flipping in your bed this morning like a sail in a high wind." 

"Oh. How do I…?" 

"Get back in your column and go to sleep. That's how I get out, when you don't wake me." 

Obediently, Merlin crawled back into his pillar and kneeling there took a deep breath. 

A moment later, Arthur was certain that Merlin had fallen asleep. Restlessly, Arthur wandered the circle looking into the faces of his sleeping knights and feeling relieved that their faces no longer showed the strain of the earlier events. While he watched, one of the unknown knights climbed back to his feet. Instinctively going to one of the other two knights who still knelt, Arthur placed his hands on the column and spoke to him. "I don't know you, but I would not have you serve me unwilling. I will make you free if I can." 

The knight rose, still with eyes closed and breathed one word, "Peace." 

Arthur hurried to the last knight who still knelt and placed his hands on that column. "I make you the same promise. If you would be free of me, you will be." 

The last knight stood, as asleep as all of the rest. "I am free," he intoned, but with a warmth that reassured. 

Still, Arthur could not stomach the idea that anyone might be coerced into his service by magic. Settling himself in his own column of light, for the first time he actually listened to the spell despite not knowing the language. He'd begun to feel that such an effort might be hopeless when he heard two words he did know; Ygraine and Uther. 

************************

The creak of a hinge drew Gaius' attention from the books he'd been researching for a cure for Merlin. Merlin stood at his door, wrapped in his blanket, his mouth set in a firm line, a blush of anger painting his pale cheeks. Relief colored Gaius' tone as he called his ward's name and went to him. Merlin's eyes tracked him like a hawk and Gaius couldn't help but wonder at this uncharacteristic fury. 

At the foot of the stairs, Gaius held out his hands to Merlin, who descended slowly. "Are you feeling all right?" 

Merlin's voice quivered in anger, "You knew. You've known all this time and you didn't tell me." 

Gaius placed a hand on Merlin's back to lead him to the table. The slightest shiver of fear ran down Gaius' spine but he was too long practiced in keeping his voice reasonable and reassuring to show it. "Merlin, I'm an old man. I imagine there are many things I know that I've never told you. You're going to have to be a little more specific." 

Merlin allowed Gaius to seat him but didn't take his eyes from his mentor's face. "Nimueh's spell, the one that called for Arthur's birth, that's not all it called for." 

Gaius brought Merlin some hot tea and dumped in a dripping of honey. "I take it you somehow managed to hear the spell?" 

Merlin nodded. "Arthur's dream, it isn't a dream, it's the spell itself or a representation of it." 

Gaius grimaced as he took a seat opposite Merlin. "I hope you didn't tell Arthur that." 

Merlin sipped his tea, sharp eyes peering over his mug at his mentor. "I told him it was a binding spell, which it is. He didn't like that much. Neither do I." Merlin suddenly burst out, "Do you have any idea how tightly I'm bound? Of course you do, you were there when the spell was cast, weren't you?" 

"Yes. I was there when the spell was cast. I worried about those extra gifts." 

Merlin nearly choked on his tea. "Gifts? So now I'm a gift, am I?" 

Gaius patted his hand. "To everyone who knows you, lad." Merlin drew a breath to shout, but Gaius cut him off. "Your parents hadn't even met yet when that spell was cast. No one could have known who was being called. The spell calls the most powerful sorcerer of Arthur's generation and I'm so thankful that's you. I know you get frustrated with Arthur sometimes, but I think he could try the patience of a saint. Tying someone with less tolerance to him could have been a disaster." 

"Why would Uther do this? He hates magic. Why would he have Nimueh bind a sorcerer to his son's side? 

Gaius shook his head. "He didn't. I don't think he knows. If he did, he'd be watching for you and he's not." 

"Then why would Nimueh do it? That spell is very complex, Gaius, and it's specific. Nimueh must have written it herself to fit the situation. I doubt I'll be able to come up with anything that complex when I'm your age." 

Gaius took a deep breath. "Nimueh may have had her own agenda." 

"Or? I definitely heard an 'or' in there." 

Gaius pursed his lips. Merlin had gotten too good at reading his face. "Uther may not have known what was in the spell, but Ygraine certainly did." 

"So? She would have just told Uther, wouldn't she?" 

"Not necessarily. Uther was very much in love, but the feelings weren't entirely mutual. Uther came to Camelot as a conqueror and Ygraine was part of the prize." 

"She didn't want to marry him?" 

"She agreed to marry him. She acted the part of the devoted wife." 

"Acted?" 

Gaius shifted uncomfortably. "All families tend to fight, Merlin, and when royal families fight, they do so with armies. Ygraine may have had her own reasons for wanting Uther's son." 

"So what are you saying? That Ygraine would have used Arthur to overthrow Uther?" 

"She wouldn't have been the first Queen in history to make such a plan. Of course, that is rank speculation on my part." 

"So the knights were supposed to be what, the seed of Arthur's army?" Merlin asked. 

"If I'm correct in my conjecture, then that would have been exactly why they were called. The knights were called specifically for their loyalty as well as their abilities. You were called based on your power, and that's undoubtedly why Nimueh put a lot more safeguards on your loyalty." 

"You've known since when? Since I first walked through your door?" 

Gaius looked contrite. "I suspected then. I wasn't sure until Nimueh tried to kill you." 

"You could have told me. You should have told me." A tear leaked from the corner of Merlin's eye. 

Gaius shrugged. "To what point? That spell was woven into Arthur's very being. It will last until he's cold in death. Only then will you know how much was the spell and how much was your own impulse." 

Merlin stared into his cup. "I'll probably be dead then myself. I expect I'll die trying to protect Arthur." 

Softly, Gaius asked, "Is that what you saw when you visited Taliesin?" 

Merlin snorted a laugh. "I saw many things this time, many many things. More than I want to know." 

"Anything you want to share?" 

"Not really. Some of it was good this time and some of it was far in the future. Morgana will attack many times, I saw that, but we'll win more battles than she will, until the final battle. No one will win that one." Merlin stayed pensively quiet and Gaius waited out the silence. "I might be there for that battle, or I might not, but exactly why, I didn't see." 

"Anything you're going to try to change?" 

"No. Not right now anyway. As things come up maybe." 

Gaius reached out to stroke Merlin's cheek. "Would you change your own life? Go back to Ealdor? Become a farmer? Avoid all this fighting and strife?" 

"That could never be. My magic is too strong. Even if I was free, I'd have to do something with it. I don't know what that would be, but it wouldn't be coaxing vegetables out of the ground." 

"Would you have your freedom?" 

"Arthur asked me that. He'd grant it if he could. But, no, I don't want to leave him." Merlin took a breath and straightened up. "Honestly, I can't imagine my life being any different if the spell wasn't there. I would still have my magic. My mother still would have sent me to you for training. I still would have saved Arthur's life, just because I couldn't have watched him die, so Uther still would have made me his servant." Merlin shrugged. "So what would have changed?" 

"I'm not used to you being this accepting of your destiny." 

"One thing I'm learning about the future is that it's coming. We might be able to steer it a bit, but the future is created from the weight of the past and trying to change it's course is like trying to steer a rampaging boar. Sometimes you can do it, but you're still not likely to be pleased where it ends up." 

Gaius laughed and Merlin grinned at him, but his stomach growled. 

"I take it you're hungry," said Gaius. 

"When am I not?" asked Merlin. "Dinner was…" He looked at the waning light of evening outside the window. "….yesterday?" 

"I'll get you something," Gaius said fondly, rising to suit action to words. 

**Author's Note:**

> The inspiration for this series came from a blog by Rupert Young titled, “Merlin: From nerve-wracking audition to series finale.” In it he said, “Leon's been wounded in many a battle, incinerated by the Great Dragon and has still managed to return to Camelot without so much as a scar.” Immediately I began wondering what was protecting Sir Leon. It didn’t take long for neurons to join up the possibility of the knights being involved in the spell that brought about Arthur’s birth and that broke open the whole story.


End file.
